wat bout pragnant strippers??
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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