I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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