Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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