Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
