I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hippo gnu deer
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
