alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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