So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
