I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
