you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
