so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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