Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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