New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
