so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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