I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
