Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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