I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
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