hotel room ftw
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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