How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
