So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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