I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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