Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
