i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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