oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
