I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So many bounce houses so little time
Are my feet made of real feet?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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