That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
