It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
