Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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