I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
