1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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