Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
God, I missed his penis.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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