I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
