Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
