I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
