I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
