Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
