does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
