Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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