Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
