Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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