Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
