i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize