I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
