Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
