I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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