Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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