how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.