He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet