if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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