why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
