Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Food network will be on but we won't be watching

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

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  (248): Food network will be on but we won't be watching (1-248): O by "watching" I mean "background noise" http://tfl.nu/n3tt
  Replies (2) Good night (1033) Bad night (426)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!

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  (202): he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night! http://tfl.nu/w1it
  Replies (9) Good night (1655) Bad night (515)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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  (847): i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago http://tfl.nu/60w4
  Replies (29) Good night (5276) Bad night (872)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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  (502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj
  Replies (37) Good night (938) Bad night (2169)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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  (613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu
  Replies (8) Good night (4142) Bad night (595)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

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  (607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/om4f
  Replies (27) Good night (4671) Bad night (1460)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

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  (306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v
  Replies (11) Good night (6001) Bad night (1160)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2508) Bad night (1317)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

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  (913): How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways. (913): 1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me http://tfl.nu/tb9a
  Replies (12) Good night (3383) Bad night (687)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.

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  (941): I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant. http://tfl.nu/bzfq
  Replies (11) Good night (1503) Bad night (680)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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  (708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (320)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.

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  (870): I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me. http://tfl.nu/8alm
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (224)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

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  (717): On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities. (240): Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing. http://tfl.nu/nf7v
  Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (244)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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  (425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (240)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.

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  (205): It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life. http://tfl.nu/wzg9
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (149)

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