I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?