Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us

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(508): well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us http://tfl.nu/w698

Replies (32) Good night (1060) Bad night (7713)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.

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(937): Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in. http://tfl.nu/kwq2

Replies (24) Good night (3607) Bad night (775)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

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(506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off! http://tfl.nu/nmc3

Replies (28) Good night (5998) Bad night (973)
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(510): View more from California

Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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(510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn

Replies (65) Good night (21295) Bad night (2291)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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(702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8

Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (2742)
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(530): View more from California

The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.

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(530): The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me. http://tfl.nu/yiwo

Replies (23) Good night (2969) Bad night (1616)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.

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(832): I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers. http://tfl.nu/48lf

Replies (3) Good night (2176) Bad night (1447)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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(860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb

Replies (24) Good night (5433) Bad night (1131)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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(603): He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car. http://tfl.nu/1mzx

Replies (50) Good night (8121) Bad night (1021)
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(989): View more from Michigan

He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.

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(989): He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT. http://tfl.nu/p01t

Replies (8) Good night (757) Bad night (2128)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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(902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su

Replies (4) Good night (1946) Bad night (676)
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(716): View more from New York

We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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(716): We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity. http://tfl.nu/f66f

Replies (4) Good night (1087) Bad night (428)
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(517): View more from Michigan

for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.

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(517): for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative. http://tfl.nu/mxb3

Replies (5) Good night (326) Bad night (906)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing

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(734): I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing http://tfl.nu/hsq9

Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (407)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

(651): View more from Minnesota

I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

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(651): Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business". (651): I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/4wrb

Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (347)

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