Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
