who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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