just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
