You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
