hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
