your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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