I'm drive I can fine osifer
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize