so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
