I think i peed on brittanys purse
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
