i just made my gag reflex go away.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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