guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't put those talents on a resume
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
