I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
