they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize