you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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