question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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