you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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