i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The Olympian is in my bed
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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